


Imaginary Friend

by prettyboiiharringrove



Series: Prettyboii's Harringrove Halloween Countdown 2018 [12]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Demon AU, Demons, Harringrove, M/M, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, harringrove au, harringrove drabble, harringrove ficlet, haunting AU, i guess sort of he's haunted yeak, i mean sort of ??, it does get bloody i guess but like the details aren't excessive, like coerced suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 11:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16428905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboiiharringrove/pseuds/prettyboiiharringrove
Summary: Harringrove Halloween Countdown // October 12 — When the devil on your shoulder is this close to winning you over, she's not going to like it very much when you get in bed with the angel and he weasels his way in your heart and uses magic to keep her at bay.





	Imaginary Friend

Demons like to prey on the weak, things are just easier that way. Maybe a little messier, but sometimes vulnerable kids and drug addicts are more convenient, more simple, more breakable; sad to say Billy Hargrove is both and that makes him easy prey, no matter how rabid he pretends to be.

Billy lost his mother young, hardly knew her, and Neil Hargrove, the closest to a monster a human can get, soul already rotten and deteriorating, finds that a small lonely boy with mommy issues and a bad habit of poor judgement and misplaced loyalty will do whatever is asked of him if it guarantees him his father’s approval.

Billy used to be able to fall asleep if Neil promised him chocolate chip waffles and tucked him in at night, but then Neil got lonely and angry, and he noticed that all he had to do was promise not to hit Billy and to hold him while he cried and Billy would fall asleep. Billy grew, Neil’s arms got tired, and his restraint deteriorated. The thought of having to promise Billy he wouldn’t hit him just made him want to hurt him more, so instead he would sit with his bloody son, help him wash up, and crush up some pain pills in his dinner, sneak some sleeping meds into his water.

When Neil starts dating Susan and going out for dinner instead of staying in with Billy, Billy can’t understand why he shakes and vomits, why everything hurts despite Neil not being home to lay a finger on him, not until he hears his mother’s voice urging him to wipe the sick off his face and crawl to his father’s room. He finds the pills in his father’s bedside table. What hurts the most is that he isn’t surprised; his father has been drugging him every damn night to the point of addiction, and he’s only fifteen.

“How long?” he’s unsure why he’s speaking, knows that hearing his mother’s voice must have been a hallucination, a product of his drug addled brain coming down from withdrawal.

“Does it matter?” she whispers, and Billy can feel her sit down next to him even though he can’t quite see her, just notices that where he’s looking through her, the picture is a bit distorted; then again, that could be his own tears obstructing his vision.

“Guess not,” he whispers, pouring a few of the pills in his hands and gagging a bit as he swallows them dry. He feels disappointment in the air, maybe even a little anger, but he hears nothing more. He doesn’t hear from his mother until the weekend when Neil goes out to dinner with Max and Susan and leaves Billy to clean up the house.

——————

This goes on for eight months until Billy finally realizes why he senses disappointment every time he pops those pills. She wants him to take more, wants him to down both bottles in one go.

“I’m so lonely baby. Come on, you don’t want to be with him anymore. Don’t you remember how good I was to you ??” it sends chills down his spine, but he finds himself inclined to listen. Even so, he denies her, he decides to live, even if just a little longer.

——————

Neil marries Susan after ten months, and packs everyone up and moves them to Hawkins after eighteen. Billy has no one. No more friends, not a loving father, and he thinks he’s leaving his mother behind, even worse his dealer. Neil’s supply was weak and dwindling, and Billy could put on a good show with his protein shakes and ridiculous workouts, but without his pills, he’d turn into a sad sack of shit. His theory is that it’s probably a lot harder to score prescription drugs in Indiana than California; for whatever fucking reason though, Neil refuses to leave him behind.

He’s angry, and lonely, and when his mother shows up a few days later he’s so relieved to see her, to have someone by his side, that he almost takes her up on her invitation. He doesn’t though, because tomorrow’s Halloween and maybe he can get in one good fuck before he says goodbye to his shithead father and small town Hawkins.

He doesn’t expect to be so enamored with Steve though. Steve Harrington seems like the type of guy worth moving to some place as shitty as Hawkins for; if he was less rich kid asshole and his snooty little girlfriend were to get hit by a car, King Steve would be his fucking dream.

He can’t get Steve out of his head, and the more enamored he becomes with the fucking princess, the less his mom comes around, and when she is around she seems angry. Billy hates having her upset with him, especially since she’s the only thing that makes him feel safe anymore. He downs a few extra pills when he sees her; not enough to do serious damage, but enough to signify a promise. Some day he’ll say yes; it seems to appease her for a while.

——————

The night of the fight, Billy barely makes it home. It makes sense that whatever was in that syringe took a little while to put him on the ground considering it practically takes horse tranquilizers to get him to sleep these days; if he was willing to go anywhere close to Max any time soon, he might think to ask her where the hell she got it, since it seemed to be the good stuff.

He’s just out of it enough to forget how fucking stupid he’ll be if he walks through that door without Max by his side. His first thought is to crawl into his warm bed, his second thought was that he didn’t have the time or energy to run or fight. He’s on the ground fast and he tastes his own blood. He doesn’t know why, but it somehow tastes differently than when Steve had hit him. It doesn’t take long for Neil to back off. He hears Susan get out of the bathroom after her shower and shoves Billy in his room before he can even think.

His mother comes. He says yes. Suddenly he’s pressing the pill bottle to his lips, and for the first time he notices the name on the bottle, the person it was actually prescribed to. Vivian Harrington. Billy can’t help but laugh, the fucking pretty boy probably sold his mom’s sleeping pills for a pretty penny just to piss her off because god knows he didn’t need the money. Somehow he gets it in his head that he needs to see Steve one last time before he goes, that he needs to apologize otherwise he’s no better than Neil.

“Not yet,” he whispers, setting the bottle on the floor; it falls to its side, a few spilling out. Billy’s used to the disappointment his mother feels by now, but he’s burned by a flash of her rage. She calms herself quickly; Billy’s terrified.

“Soon though, right Billy?? We’ll be together soon ??” Billy nods, makes sure to never break a promise to her again, otherwise she might take matters into her own hands.

——————

The concept of seeing Steve’s face one last time takes a while. It starts out with two major problems ; one — the face Billy wants to see isn’t the one that’s all battered and bruised thanks to his fists. Billy wants to see those dimples, and that smooth skin, that award winning smile, the way he rolls his eyes and scrunches his nose up. Steve doesn’t fully heal for at least three weeks. Two — Billy doesn’t actually know how to apologize for shit like this. Neil hasn’t apologized for beating his ass since he was eleven. It takes him almost two months to muster up the courage, and Steve is apparently over it by then, so he forgives him, thank fuck.

He thinks that should be it, time to go home, down a few pills, and actually be with his mother, to see her with his own eyes, to hold her in his arms, for his spirit to feel whole again even as his corpse lies lifeless on the floor. He thinks that’s going to be the case, until Steve awkwardly asks him if he’s going to that party tonight, like he feels obligated to make conversation even though he owes Billy nothing.

Billy feels butterflies but he smirks, stops thinking about what’ll happen after he dies and more about how nice it’ll be to kiss those plush lips before he goes.

“Only if you are pretty boy,” he doesn’t miss the way Steve blushes; he thinks getting to see that is worth dying for. He’ll be happy, so long as his last night on earth is with Steve.

——————

Billy’s last night on earth turns into five months of Steve rearranging his fucking guts with what Billy has affectionately come to call ‘the _real_ king Steve’, and falling in love in with each other in the meantime. Billy’s mother turns dark and angry, and some nights as she sings Billy old lullabies, he can feel himself choking on thin air. He’s being punished, he knows he is in the same way he knows he somehow deserves every injury Neil gifts him, but he can’t let go of Steve.

His mother **hates** Steve, even though she’s never actually met him. Apparently he smells odd, which sure the Farrah Faucet hairspray has a _unique_ fragrance, and yeah he smells like a lot of spices which is weird for someone who doesn’t actually bake, but Billy likes how Steve smells and his mom doesn’t have to like him. It doesn’t help that Steve has been slowly helping him come off the pills; she doesn’t want him to get better, not when she’s so _so_ lonely, and Billy gets it, he does, because he used to be lonely too. His mother says Steve has stolen her baby away from her and really, she’s not wrong. Billy hopes she never tries to punish Steve should he enter the house.

On their sixth month anniversary, Steve sneaks over to Billy’s house because Billy’s supposed to watch Max, and he can’t exactly ask his dad to let him go out because then he’d have to come up with some bullshit lie that Neil would definitely look into, or admit he turned bitch for Steve Harrington, which probably would result in a very painful death. He isn’t ready to die anymore, not with Steve and certainly not at the hands of either of his parents. So, Steve being the entitled brat that he is decides to make his way over to Billy’s, and Billy is excited, he really truly is, but he’s also scared his mother will suffocate him and he’ll be all alone again.

Neil and Susan aren’t supposed to be back until morning, so they let Max fuck off to her friend’s house, mostly because it’s Hopper’s house too and he’s way more reliable when it comes to keeping kids alive; Steve just got lucky last year, so it’s probably better that way. That, and this way they get to fuck and then fall asleep curled on the couch.

He wakes up to feel a phantom hand around his throat, chokes out “Mom, please, m-mom,” as he tries to gasp for air.

“You promised !!” she growls, and Steve jolts awake. Billy hears Steve mumble something under his breath and then suddenly the woman — his supposed mother — he’s been talking to all these years comes to life, her skin a charcoal black, her eyes hollow. Billy can breathe again, but he almost forgets to.

“Get away from him !!” Steve barks and Billy thinks he sees sparks fly from Steve’s fingertips, but he’s also still dizzy from the lack of oxygen and he’s kind of seeing stars. He barely has time to react before she’s lunging at Steve. He wants to beg for mercy, swear to go with her if she’ll just leave Steve alone, but the words won’t come out. Even more shocking, as she hurdles herself towards Steve, the bright light that originally seemed like small static sparks grows, flowing from Steve’s fingertips without warning, preventing her from touching him. Each time she tries to touch the light, she hisses, until she becomes too weak to keep fighting and retreats; Billy knows she’ll be back, she always comes back.

The first thing Steve does is pull Billy into his lap and check him for any injuries that weren’t already there from Neil. There’s some new bruising around his neck but that’s it. Billy notices that his fingertips are still hot, but they don’t burn, they seem to sooth him, to offer up some relief. After a few moments Steve grabs the blanket they had been sharing, wraps it around Billy, and drags him to the kitchen.

Steve gets to work the second he finds out where Susan keeps all the spices, and Billy moves to sit on the counter and watch him. Billy’s either exhausted, in shock, or far too used to trauma, because he isn’t freaking out like he probably should be.

Ten minutes later Steve is shoving a mug in his face. It smells weird, and if he didn’t just watch Steve make it, he would assume it was that fancy French tea Steve’s mom buys that he always makes him drink after a particularly rough night with Neil. He’s starting to wonder if it’s ever actually been tea. He gets this sick feeling in his stomach, similar to when he found out Neil had been drugging him, except he trusts Steve. He chugs it down, ignores how his fingers twitch when he stops himself from going to grab the bottle of pills he keeps hidden for the really bad nights. After a few moments, the soreness around his throat and in his muscles starts to ease up, the itch for his fix starts to fade and now all he craves is Steve. He doesn’t have to ignore that need for long, not when Steve steps between his legs and holds Billy’s face in his hands, looking concerned.

“How you feeling baby?” Steve questions nervously, and Billy shrugs like he always does, because he feels sad, and scared, and betrayed but nothing hurts anymore, and nothing’s ever going to change, so it’s whatever.

“Baby, I need you to answer me. Creatures like that, they’re really dark and really powerful. I need to know you’re okay,” his thumb brushes gently against Billy’s cheek and normally that would sooth him, but this time Steve’s said something that’s got him worried.

“Creature?”

“Yeah, a shadow beast, a demon. That monster, you saw it right ?”

“She’s not a monster,” Billy argues sadly, because she had just tried to kill him, and it was all too similar to Neil, but this was different, Billy broke his promise.

“Billy it was choking you, of course it’s a monster,” Steve looks concerned but also extremely confused, which sucks because if they both don’t know what the hell is going on, they might be here for a while.

“I told her I would go with her, I told her soon, but I chose you. She’s not a monster, she’s just hurt.”

“What?!” Steve sounds angry then, and Billy jumps at the noise, still on edge from his mother’s hand gripping around his throat less than thirty minutes ago, still skittish from when Neil kicked him in the shin and then the ribs the day before. Steve can’t yell, not when Billy’s still so scared and he knows that, but he’s worried and it’s hard to keep his cool at a time like this. Still, he takes a few moments to steel himself. He looks at Billy with soft eyes, noting that he’s still a bit shaken up, whether he’ll admit that or even notices being a completely different issue, and realizes that he has to be the voice of reason in this situation. “Baby, why would you make that promise? If things have gotten bad again, you can tell me…”

 _Bad again_ Steve says and they both hate how it sounds, because if Steve isn’t with Billy, caging him in his arms and keeping him safe, things are never good, but if Billy was feeling suicidal again, that’s something they need to discuss.

“It’s not like that,” and well, that’s not really a lie because most nights the only thing that makes Billy want to give up is sensing his mother’s frustration or feeling Neil’s knuckles kneed and mark his skin. He doesn’t want to die, not if it means leaving Steve behind, but that doesn’t mean he’s stopped considering it completely. He swallows hard, pulls Steve closer to him using his ankles that are loosely wrapped around his legs just above his knees, and rests his head on Steve’s chest. “She’s my mom,” he admits, and the whisper is nearly as faint as the breeze creeping in through the open kitchen window.

“No she’s not,” as soon as the words leave Steve’s mouth, tears brim in Billy’s eyes. He didn’t think it would hurt this much, Steve assuming he’s crazy. He saw her though, he knows she’s real, so this isn’t fair. He’s supposed to feel safe with Steve, but now he just feels stupid and small.

“I’m not crazy,” he whines where his head is rested on Steve’s right pectoral. Steve feels the fresh tears dripping down his skin. He hates how it makes Billy tremble. He hushes Billy, kisses the top of his head, and sighs. This night just keeps getting longer and longer.

“No one said you were.”

“But you said…you said she’s not —” Billy cuts himself off, trying to keep from sobbing. If Steve is going to judge him, he’s not going to make it worse by being a cry baby.

“I’m sure she said she was your mom. I’m sure she played her game well, said all the right things, but that thing is not your mother. She’s a leech. She preys on those who are hurting, and she found you when you were at your worst.”

Billy wants to argue, but he clings to Steve, shakes his head because he doesn’t want to believe him, but after what he had just seen, the pieces of this puzzle are starting to come together and it’s scaring him.

“No, y-you’re wrong, I know my own mom Steve, I know her,” he doesn’t though. He can barely remember what she looks like. He simply knows what he wants her to be, and this woman or monster that he’s been talking to was good enough. Three years she’s been whispering in his ear, telling him he was loved and wanted. It was so easy to fall for her.

Steve shakes his head. If the circumstances were different, he might just let Billy lives in blissed out ignorance, but Billy was nearly killed tonight, and he can’t sit idly by and let him believe the woman trying to steal him away is someone worthy of his love. He may not be able to stop Neil, not yet anyways, but he can protect Billy from this bit of darkness. If he were the type to pray, he would be begging God that it’s not too late.

“Listen to me, I don’t know who she is and I don’t care, but she tried to kill you tonight Billy. I’ll bet she’s been trying to for a long time,” he doesn’t miss how Billy whimpers; facing the truth hurts almost as much as a harsh blow from Neil. If he thinks too much he can still feel fingernails digging crescent moons into his flesh, both from his father and this mystery phantom. Steve knows by the way Billy tries to hide himself further in Steve’s bare skin that he’s not wrong. “You trust me right ?? You know me. I’m always going to be here for you, I’m gonna protect you.”

Billy finds comfort in the promise, mostly because it’s always been Steve that he chose above everyone else, and now he’s starting to see why. Steve is the only good decision he’s ever made.

——————

It’s a week later when he’s laying in Steve’s bed and he feels the bed dip with weight. At first he’s relieved; he doesn’t like being alone, especially not in a house as big and lifeless as Steve’s. All relief fades when he doesn’t feel Steve’s familiar warmth washing over him. He begins to shiver and when he rolls over to reach for Steve he is met by a cold black gaze. She’s back, his not-mom is back and she followed him to Steve’s house.

He knows what she wants, but he can’t give it to her, not when he knows she’s nothing to him but a liar, an omen of pain, his own sadistic, impatient reaper. He has no idea where Steve is and he can’t go with her without knowing that Steve is safe.

“Go away,” he tries to sound forceful and angry, but it’s clear to see he’s terrified. The figure beside him smirks.

“Don’t be like that sweetie, I’m just here to collect what’s mine,” she whispers, her tongue practically dripping with sugar, her sickeningly sweet disposition making Billy shrink away.

“I’m not yours, I’m nothing to you,” he knows it’s not smart to mouth off to her, but he’s so hurt and angry, and Steve isn’t there to protect him or talk him down, so he’s just going to shoot off at the mouth until she leaves or kills him.

“Don’t say that,” she growls, grabbing him by the jaw. “I’m more of a mother to you than yours ever was. She’s dead William, she’s rotten flesh, dirty bones in the ground somewhere. And your father ?? He’s nothing, he’s a beast. I’m the one who’s been here !! I’m the one who has looked after you all this time. Me, no one else, not even that pretty little thing. He’ll leave too you know, he’ll realize you’re not worth it. I’m the only one who stays with you, haven’t you learned that by now ?!”

“That’s not true !!” maybe, somewhere deep down, Billy actually believes that, but the words coming out of her mouth aren’t exactly new and original ideas. Billy’s last boyfriend was some thirty year old who beat his ass for ‘breaking in’ when his wife caught Billy asleep in their bed. He hasn’t heard from a single friend from California since he left. Neil might not even come down to the morgue to identify his body if he was found dead in a ditch somewhere. Tommy and Carol might miss him, but they have each other, and short attention spans; they’ll move on fast. Steve is too good for him; he’s been eerily awaiting the day he decides Billy isn’t worth his time anymore.

“You know it’s true, don’t deny it. You made me a promise, and you need to keep it. Maybe they’ll miss you at first, but eventually you’ll just be another sad small town tragedy, like that Barb girl. You don’t matter, not to them, only to me. So come with me, stop playing games.”

“Not here, I can’t do it here.”

“That pretty boy of yours is taking a shower. I’m sure we can sneak out before he’s done. He won’t even notice we’re gone.”

“You’re probably right,” Billy sighs, but it doesn’t stop him from leaving a goodbye letter. She doesn’t seem to mind; she’s too giddy from having finally won their game.

——————

He’s in the kitchen, hands trembling as he faces the options he’s given. There’s the all too familiar pills, a block of kitchen knives, and Neil’s gun.

The pills feel like a betrayal; Steve has worked so hard to help Billy be a better, stronger person, he can’t go out like that.

The gun is messy, and although he knows Neil will get satisfaction out of his death no matter what, he feels like using his father’s bullets gives him too much power.

The knife is messy too, and as much as he loves the idea of being one last inconvenience, one big ugly red stain in Neil Hargrove’s reputation as well as his kitchen tile, he knows it’s going to be Hopper, or Susan, or god forbid Steve, cleaning up his mess.

“I can’t do this,” he bites down on his now bloodied lip as tears spill down his cheeks. “I can’t do this without him, I can’t leave him.”

“Then don’t. Billy, baby, please,” Billy jumps; he hadn’t noticed Steve walk into the house.

Billy hears his demon scoff, but soon she’s chuckling, something thick and dirty, like she knows something he doesn’t. This time Steve can’t hear her. His eyes stay locked on Steve. Billy wishes he could say this was the first time Steve has caught him in a situation like this, but it’s not. This time it’s different though. Billy is closer to death than he’s ever been.

“You know,” she begins, smooth tone wrapping around Billy like velvet. “We could take him too pet. This world, it’s no good for people like you, and we could have a little witch on our team. It could be so much fun, and neither of you will ever be alone again,” she nudges the knives towards him  as a gentle hint.

“No, no, not him, please, he’s good,” Billy begs; he won’t mind if his last words, his dying breath are used to protect Steve.

“I know he’s good sweetheart, you’re both so good. Come on, don’t you want him, forever??” She’s always known just what to say. Billy wants him so desperately; he wants to hold Steve and never let go, but more than anything he wants Steve to be safe and happy.

He nods, swallows hard and turns away from Steve.

“Billy, come on, it’s gonna be okay,” Steve’s tone is gentle, cautious, like he’s approaching a scared, caged animal. He’s always known the best way to talk to Billy.

He picks up the butcher knife and turns to Steve. Steve steps back, and Billy can’t blame him. He knows how this looks. Billy’s thought about killing on more than one occasion, but even when he was pummeling Steve with his fists, he was never really the target of his aggression.

“If I do this, you promise it’ll be over?? It won’t hurt anymore ??”

“Yes,” they both whisper, tones soft and patient. Yes, the pain will stop once you shed blood, she means. Yes, the pain will stop if you put the knife down and come to me, Steve means. He wants to believe Steve, but there has always only ever been one clear ending for Billy, and he decides to stop putting it off.

He raises the knife to his throat, and Steve looks more scared than he did when the knife was aimed at him. Steve tries to move quick and stop him, but that just rushes Billy’s shaking hand. The cut is rough and he tastes blood within an instant. It burns and he’s having trouble keeping himself up.

“You’re such a good boy,” the demon finally shows herself to the world, and Steve isn’t surprised, just angry. It’s the last Billy sees of her, because she’s smart enough to leave before getting into another fight with Steve.

The last thing he sees is Steve’s face, so soft and loving. He wishes he weren’t crying, but beggars can’t be choosers. The last thing he feels is Steve cradling and shaking his cold aching body in his warm arms. The last thing he hears is “Baby please, don’t leave me, please. I love you.”

His final thought is one of both guilt and appreciation. There’s no better way to die than by Steve Harrington’s side. 


End file.
